Life-Giving, Life-Numbing

It has been a while! I’ve been living in the strange land of the Early Pregnancy! Very grateful for this new babe growing inside of me, and also thankful that I’m getting through the stage of feeling awful and exhausted. Looking forward to getting back into writing more regularly again.

2014.04.05

Today my amazing husband is at a youth retreat all day and I am enjoying a simple day at home with my little girl. We’ve played and ate meals and done dishes and sung songs together. Then, while she slept, I slept too. And I awoke an hour before her to sunlight coming through the window and the beautiful sound of birds chirping.

My thoughts for some unknown (or at least unseen) reason have turned towards how I’ve been spending my time lately. These thoughts have been coming for a while, but today it seemed clear. I have not been engaging in life-giving things enough. I have primarily been doing what is necessary, and in my extra time, I have only been doing the life-numbing. Whether it is this seemingly endless deep freeze, the exhaustion of pregnancy, the busyness of life, or a mix of all three, it seems that when I find a spare moment in my day, I choose life-numbing, not life-giving. These life-giving practices are not gone from my life, but seem to have slipped down to the periphery, unintentionally being side-lined and unnoticed until now.

I do not feel I need to name the life-numbing things. Because we all know them so well. Most of them include screens.

But I do want to name the life-giving things. First, I am so thankful for the ones that are still present in my life even now, these things that fill me up and strengthen me.

  • Spending time with my husband, listening to him, sharing my heart with him, enjoying our growing relationship and love
  • Spending time with my daughter, making her laugh, watching her learn and grow
  • Meeting with our church family each week, walking alongside each other.
  • Playing music (this makes both sides of the list), mainly with our church worship team, and singing with the church family on Sundays
  • Being aware of God’s presence with me and spending time in prayer
  • Being intentional about resting, these days mostly this means going to be early!

I spent some time today thinking about the things that I miss, the life-giving practices and activities that are currently inactive in my life and that I did not even fully realize were missing until today.

  • Spending quality time with friends, having heart connections with them
  • Writing
  • Spending time in quiet and intentionally listening to God
  • The ongoing practice of gratitude
  • Reading books – I’m finding online blogs and articles do not cut it at all
  • Engaging with music in my own time, singing at home on our keyboard, even just listening to music
  • Being active, specifically running. This may be tabled for the coming year, but it does give me life and I miss it.

Today I felt some of those soft glowing coals flickering with flame. I tried (half successfully) to leave my iPhone alone. I read a chapter in a good and challenging book. I wrote this blog post. I went for a walk. I noticed the sunshine, the birds singing, the smile on my girls face. I feel my heart turned towards God in a fresh way.

Why, when we are busy or tired or run down is it easier to numb ourselves rather than doing things that we know will breathe life into us?

 

Please leave a comment below! What practices do you engage in that give you life? I would love to hear from you.

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